Inspire

Life can shrink you down to size if you let it. Inch by inch, day by day. Repetitiveness.  Always striving for more. Always trying for something. Evervesent, ever changing. Multiple layers, scratching the surface one by one. Are we getting anywhere? Maybe, hard to tell right now.  The time comes when we must figure it out, when we must organize our thoughts, and articulate what it is that yearns in the deepest part of us. Get it all the way right, before branching out, and stepping out on faith, once again.  Try as we may, to change, to make a better day for us, and our kin. Lets begin to begin again, and try a little, or a lot harder each new day. Knowing all along its up to US, and only us to create a world within ourselves that will win. That will strive, that WILL try, and WILL make a better life. The BEST life we can possibly live.

The reigns aren't mine anymore.

I haven't written in awhile...the whole purpose for me to have this blog, was for me to write. I always give the excuse that life happens. I need to always take the time to write.

Peace.  Peace within.  Peace upholding me.  Peace wrapping it's arms around me.  What PEACE is this which I can NOT see?  It's Him.  It's Jesus you see. He is who makes me great, it's He who gives me wings to fly, and take chances, and have faith that it will all end up OK. He is the light, the path, and the WAY. My mission is to spread the love and the word of God. Through my voice, through my song, through my word. To any and everyone, especially to non believers. For they are the ones that need to be enlightened by the word of Christ. They need to know that in the times of despair and sorrow, that if you just reach out, if you just call out to Him, if you just believe that there is someone so much Greater, and too perfect for words, that is HERE to help us, to guide us, to shower us with His love, if we will just let go, and let Him be in charge. It's all about letting go, and giving up control to Him. All He wants is what's best for us, and God is always LOVE. Anything right and true. So, nothing He could ever want for us would ever be bad, it's always going to be something we have always needed, and always a step in the right direction, because our path has already been laid out before us. Our path is already set in place. He already knows all. He already knows how it's all going to end. There is no time for worrying, when the plan is already set. Our hardest part is not only letting go of the control, but not worrying. One of the biggest sins we all make, is worrying, about any and everything. All I know is, I have stopped worrying about things so much. I cant change them, so theres no point, in worrying myself to death, when God said He would take care of it for me!!! Amen!

Also, this peace I feel inside, is SO much more than usual. Because I finally learned to let go, a little day by day. Quitting smoking was HUGE for me, and a true testimony of God in itself!!!! I'm defnitely not dong this alone!!!! I give Him full credit!!!!!!! The Lord is good all the time, and all the time the Lord is good!!!!

Outside these prison walls...

As the sun beams down on my face, I tend to think of my loved ones gone away. The ones that have been locked away, into a prison behind cold walls, and steel bars, and wonder if they are also locked away within a prison within themselves. How could one stand to be locked away? True inner strength must play a apart. I feel to be locked up in prison even though you have no choice but to do your sentence, it takes a STRONG individual to stay there, complete your time, and come out a better person, and NEVER go back. The repeat offenders are the insane ones. I know if I was locked away, I would go crazy, and be in the psych ward, because my freedom is way to important and special to me. I have to see my kids grow up, and enjoy this life I was given. No one can take my freedom from me, and that is why I must live right, so no one has that power over me. No MAN atleast. I may not always write, go visit, or put money on my loved one's books, but I still think about them every waking day, and night. I still pray for them every chance I get. No, I dont owe any of them anything, in my heart is where they will be kept safe. It bothers me when people get locked up, and think the world stops because they are gone. I still have kids to raise, bills to pay, a job to go to, a house to take care of. The world and life stops for NO ONE. When people do wrong and get in trouble, they are the ones who have to face the music, but while their loved ones suffer too. No, we may not be locked behind steel bars, but we are still left to raise kids alone, and try to answer these babies innocent questions about where is daddy. We all suffer just the same, in many different ways. I love my incarcerated family, more than they will ever know, but I tough love them, for the simple fact that if I dont make it so easy on them while they are gone, then I believe in my heart they will never go back.

Randomosity

Attacking the obvious is so oblivious to what meets the eye. Did I just say that? I think so.

How can I dream? How can I dream of a world without you in it? I couldn't, so please don't ever ask me to. Oh, how I loathe thee. :)

I'm weird and different, but I like that I'm weird and different. I'm weird and different in that 'cool' sense. You know the one where you rise above the indifference...where you become who you are supposed to be.  Regardless of if you were different, or quirky, in your style and the way you dressed. Going against the grain I should say, just a little bit, or a lot. Wearing my clothes tight because that's how I like it. Sometimes the shorter the better on my dresses because I love my legs, and shopping plus size for a sexy bia who stays FLY is no joke! Believe me, I'm a pro ;) I embrace all my weird, spontaneous, crazy, quirky, bold ways. It's just who I am.

cracking of the shell...

It's crazy how life can change right before your very eyes. It's even more crazier that life can continue to change, turn and twist, everyday as life rolls on, yet we never have time in life to sit and even think about it. Then something major has contorted, this whole time we were living, and we knew, usually subconsciously, yet like I said no time for stopping to even THINK to deal with the situation, because well, quite frankly, life just kept on going.

Then WHAM, it's in your face. This 'thing' you didnt want to see materialize right before your eyes, so you just kept on living your life. Now it's moral vs. easy. I know what I SHOULD do, but what do I owe him? No one really knows.

Oh..to thine self be true..

To cleanse: Middle English clensen, from Old English clǣnsian to purify, from clǣne clean


To purify. To make pure. To rid of. To wash away. To make clean.


As day 3 of the cleansing begins..I find myself noticing small things. To cleanse thyself, one must start within. To literally wash away with water, as I stop drinking soda pop. A luxury so taken for granted, as with eating fast food. So simple, yet SO bad for you!!


As I begin my journey of cleansing myself, mind, body, and soul, I catch myself thinking of so many other things that I can extract from my life, to bring me closer to the ultimate goal, of complete cleansing. Man, I didn't realize how many bad, or not so good things I did, or put into my body.


As my mind awakens, so do my senses. I take this day to day, and pray for strength.

revelation.

Gaining apocalyptic control. Crucial beyond measure. Slapping me in my face, awakening all senses. Coming correct before thee. Finally understanding all that was fogged. Breathing in deep, and breathing out without thinking, not even for a second. Above all most high regards, realizing so much to be true. Feeling every sensation all the way down to the edges of my fingertips......Shake. Release. The End.